Sportress of Blogitude

Dan Le Batard makes good on bet with Charles Barkley, dons a Speedo (pics/vid)

The horror…the horror…

Wearing a generous amount of body paint and little else — save for a Speedo that was hopefully read its Last Rites and placed upon a funeral pyre and burned — Miami Herald columnist, radio personality and ESPN talking head Dan Le Batard made good on a bet he made with TNT NBA analyst Charles Barkley on Wednesday by stripping down in a public spectacle that was one part humorous but mostly just disturbing.

Le Batard bet Barkley last year on-air that the hometown Miami Heat would oust the Dallas Mavericks and win the NBA title last season. Obviously, Le Batard’s horse in the race came up on the losing end and he was left no choice (albeit at a much later date) to honor his wager. And we are the ones to suffer for it. Yikes.

For those brave enough that also have not eaten in at least a few hours, more photos and video follow.

GAH! Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!

The Miami Herald was on-hand to document the nightmare fuel of a scene:

“Got to pay off the bet,” Barkley said shortly before the unveiling, which occurred at the end of Le Batard’s drive-time radio show on 790 The Ticket. “Dan’s a really good friend of mine, and we’re going to have a little fun with it.”

Quipped Le Batard’s on-air sidekick, Jon “Stugotz” Weiner: “I’m more excited for this than I am for the Heat to win a championship.”

After retreating to the changing room to primp, Le Batard emerged like a prize fighter, cloaked in a robe as he followed four showgirls — who were (more appropriately) also scantly clad — into the bar.

Finally, the moment arrived. The loveably doughy Le Batard dropped the robe, and showed the goods: His Adonis physique, a Speedo with Barkley’s mug on his backside, and body paint all over his torso that was painstakingly applied by his brother David, a prominent local artist.

Yeah, “lovably doughy”: now that’s a compliment we all want to hear, the kind of sentiment a person wants on their tombstone.

Good luck getting those images out of your head. Charles Barkley may have won the bet, but ultimately, everyone else lost.

(photos in gallery courtesy of The Miami Herald)