Sportress of Blogitude

Breaking: Russell Westbrook out 10 years due to bizarro wish to ‘Zoltar Speaks’ (pic)

Good Lord! That’s not good. Look how young he looks!

Heh. An outdated — not to mention convolutedĀ  — pop culture reference to a Tom Hanks star-making vehicle from the 1980s commenting upon a photo taken out of context. Also taken out of context: the actual plot of the film. You see, it’s completely the opposite of how the movie goes. Ah yes, trying far too hard for a weak joke. Always a good thing.

Now all I need is for Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant to show up a postgame news conference dressed in drag so I can make an even more outdated Bosom Buddies reference. And the good — and kind of sad — thing is: in light of the outlandish getups the two routinely wear to postgame pressers, I wouldn’t put showing up in dresses past them.

Note: some of you out there might think this effort was an abject waste of time. To those of you, I sing, “I don’t care what you say anymore this is my life, go ahead with your own life leave me alone.”