Sportress of Blogitude

Phillie Phanatic being sued by woman after throwing her in a hotel pool

Just when you thought you could trust a person dressed up as a gigantic, unidentifiable, green creature — seriously, what is that thing? — and is paid to act like an out-of-control buffoon, something like this happens and drastically changes your perception forever.

A Pennsylvania woman is suing the famous mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies for an incident that occurred in July 2010 when it picked up a lounge chair she was sitting in and threw it into a pool. Jeez, I haven’t been privy to evidence of the Phillie Phanatic behaving this violently and maliciously since “The World Series Defense” episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia when it mixed it up with Charlie Kelly dressed as his alter ego, Green Man. But wait, that was the Phillie Frenetic, wasn’t it? Hey, like Charlie, I don’t want to get sued by Major League Baseball, either.

Suzanne Peirce, of Abington, Pennsylvania, alleges she experienced shock, suffered a herniated disk as well as other “severe and permanent injuries to her head, neck, back, body, arms and legs, bones, muscles, tendons, ligaments, nerves and tissues” that caused her “physical pain, mental anguish and humiliation” that require “large sums of money” to treat, according to a lawsuit filed Monday in Common Pleas Court in Philadelphia.

Other than the Phillie Phanatic, Peirce also names the Philadelphia Phillies and the hotel where the incident occurred, the Golden Inn Hotel and Resort in New Jersey, where Peirce was attending a wedding when she was subjected to the madcap, pool-dunking antics of the seemingly crazed mascot.

To cover her bases, Peirce is suing both Tom Burgoyne and Matt Mehler, the two men who assume the role of the Phillie Phanatic by donning the crazy costume, as well as “any currently unknown or unnamed individual to play the role of the Phillie Phanatic.”

Unspecified damages are being sought and Peirce lays some of the blame at the feet of the hotel and the Phillies, whom she claims did not sufficiently supervise the Phillie Phanatic. Isn’t that the way it always goes? One second, you’re relaxing, sipping on a drink poolside, the next you’re all wet and getting mocked and humiliated by a man dressed up in some goofy, fuzzy outfit. Actually, that sounds more like what happened to me the time I was staying in a hotel where a furry convention was also being held, but that’s another harrowing — and embarrassing — story altogether.