Sportress of Blogitude

Caption: Derek Jeter as Colonel Kurtz in production of ‘Apocalypse Now’ (pic)

“I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That’s my dream; that’s my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor… and surviving.”

Seriously, that pic looks like a still straight out of the final scenes in Apocalypse Now. Derek Jeter looks positively Brando-esque.

Okay, okay, actual caption:

Derek Jeter during batting practice before the Yankees played the Los Angeles Angels in Anaheim, Calif. Jeter was batting .335 heading into Tuesday’s game.

What the heck? Where was he taking batting practice? In a savage camp run by a madman in the deep Cambodian jungle?

The above hypothetical situation makes me think of a scenario where somehow George Steinbrenner returns from beyond the grave in order to whip this average New York Yankees squad into shape. And to do so, he would take the entire team to Southeast Asia and between decapitating the heads of various Yankees front office personnel, he would impart this bit of wisdom upon the players:

“You have to have men who are moral… and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to win without feeling… without passion… without judgment… without judgment! Because it’s judgment that defeats us.”

The horror…the horror.

Okay, I’m done now.

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