Sportress of Blogitude

Gary Sinise joins the pantheon of horrible ceremonial first pitch performers (video)

Renowned actor Gary Sinise was on-hand at the Rangers Ballpark in Arlington to throw out the ceremonial first pitch before the hometown Texas Rangers took the field to take on the Oakland A’s in the first game of a quick two-game series between the AL West rivals.

To say that the star of stage and screen (both big and small) “threw out the ceremonial first pitch” is something of an inaccurate statement as Sinise’s actual tossing of the ball towards home plate was borderline awful: way short and wide right.

Video of the epic fail follows.

Ouch. While certainly not one of the worse ceremonial first pitches ever, it was nevertheless most certainly a bad one. I can only imagine what Creepy Ron Washington Puppet thought of this hot mess.
Now, what most lazy bloggers would do right now — or more accurately, those bloggers who got to this story first and seized the opportunity — is make a weaksauce reference to Lt. Dan, the character portrayed brilliantly by Sinise in Forrest Gump and the role for which Sinise is best-known.

But I’m not going to take the easy way out. And quite frankly, there’s no sense in trying to top Deadspin’s Timothy Burke’s perfectly executed quip that “Gary Sinise Showed Lieutenant Dan Has No Arm, Either,” so, instead, I perused Mr. Sinise’s filmography and came up with this one:

That ceremonial first pitch was so piss poor, George Milton, the character portrayed by Sinise in the 1992 film treatment of the John Steinbeck classic, Of Mice and Men, would have said it was more in line with what you would have expected from the mentally-disabled Lennie Small (as portrayed by John Malkovich).

Damn. That sucked. Makes me wish I would have written about this video sooner. The early bird gets the worm, I guess.

[H/T With Leather]