Sportress of Blogitude

From the looks of it, someone farted near the Miami Heat bench (video)

Haha. When caught downwind, there is nothing more disgusting than the odor of someone else’s gas. When you are nowhere near the affected area¬† — fart zero, as it were — but can still witness the stinky aftermath, there is nothing more amusing. When a professional basketball team’s bench is captured in a screengrab attempting to avoid the atrocious odor, there are few things more hilarious. Thank goodness no one has invented Smell-o-Vision yet, because from the looks of it, whoever floated an air biscuit in the vicinity of the Miami Heat’s bench really let a seriously noxious one rip.

UPDATE: Video of the Fart Smelled Around The World Bench (or FartGate, if that’s your thing) has been uploaded to the interwebs. It follows.

Shaq’s frank commentary about farts really takes the video to another level of comedic gold.

Going back, speaking of “floated an air biscuit,” the phrase reminds me of the following exchange in a classic scene from Weird Science that incorporates some excellent fart terminology:

Garry: How’s your stomach?
Wyatt: It’s a little better.
Garry: If you’re going to float an air biscuit, let me know, okay?
Wyatt: Float a what?
Garry: If you’re gonna fart, if you’re gonna squeeze cheese, let me know, okay? I’ll hit the fan!

Ha. That Garry and Wyatt. What a couple of stewed buttwads, to borrow a phrase from big brother Chet.

[via @cjzero]