Sportress of Blogitude

Snake that mistakenly ate golf balls believing them to be eggs needs surgery (photo)

For our latest installment of the rarely recurring feature, Sportress of Blogitude’s Wild Kingdom, we travel to Australia where a coastal carpet python is under the care of veterinarians after it was discovered that the snake accidentally ate some golf balls that doctors suspect the reptile believed to be eggs. Silly snake.

But before you condemn the slithering beast as some kind of lame-brained idiot — and who among us hasn’t erroneously jumped to that conclusion about snakes before? — the circumstances behind the mistake do lend the python some semblance of a reasonable excuse.

You see, a chicken farmer had placed the golf balls in nesting boxes to encourage the birds to lay eggs — a novel concept — so the snake had ample reason to believe that the white, round orbs contained delicious bits inside.

Unfortunately, “Callaway,” the name cleverly bestowed upon the snake, now will require surgery to remove the balls from its digestive tract as the balls will not move any further on down the line.

Said veterinarian Andrew Hill, in an ABC Gold Coast report, about his patient (via Devil Ball Golf):

“Their vision is not that great and if the egg is sitting under a chicken it’s most likely to be an egg, these guys don’t know too much about the sport of golf.”

Andrew says Callaway is currently in a good condition but “probably wandering why the eggs aren’t digesting.”

The snake will undergo surgery at the wildlife hospital in an operation that Andrew says should be a simple one.

“We’re just going to open him up, take the golf balls out and stitch him back together again.”

If the surgery is successful, Callaway is expected to be released back into the wild in a manner of weeks, with a stitched-up stomach and hopefully, a more discerning palate. You know, if snakes had palates and stuff.