Sportress of Blogitude

Bryce Harper’s comment on hitting without batting gloves: ‘It hurts like a dick’

Bryce Harper, the Washington Nationals catching prospect phenomenon, set to unleash his outspoken, over-the-top personality upon the major league masses, was recently profiled by GQ in an article chock-full of what will one day likely be referred to as “Harperisms” which are in their essence cocky, brash statements brimming with overconfidence characterized by nonsensical sayings such as the one in the above title with a little profanity sprinkled in for good measure.

On the day of the interview, Harper is taking some cuts in a batting cage. Below is an excerpt from the article, showing how GQ writer (and Deadspin’s editor emeritus) Will Leitch characterized the scene:

Harper’s swing is so violent that in the cage, the bat cracks even when he misses. The trainer seems not so comfortable: This is his first time underhanding batting practice to Bryce, and he keeps hearing about it from the kid. (“My dad”—Harper’s trainer since T-ball—”is better at tossing these.”) He’s also crouched four feet from the end of Harper’s bat; one errant swing and the trainer’s teeth might be scattered to Newport Beach. “When I hit the ball,” Harper says, “I do want to hurt it.”

Now that Harper’s the one hurt, he takes a hop-step out of the box. Again: “Fuuuuu*k!!!”A violent toss of his custom-made Marucci bat—inscribed with LUKE 1:37 (“For with God nothing shall be impossible”)—across the batting cage. “F**k it, I’m done.” Harper shakes his hands vigorously and shoves them into a pile of infield dirt adjacent to the cage. “I didn’t know I was hitting today, and I don’t have my goddamned gloves,” he says. “It hurts like a dick.”

 Wait. What? I have no idea what that even means. Hurts like a dick? The heck?

In any event, the profile is well worth the read, even if the phrase “hurts like a dick” is completely lost on me. Although it does causes a sense of intrigue regarding what will be the next off-the-wall thing to come out of this guy’s mouth.

[H/T SB Nation]