Sportress of Blogitude

Of course it does: Kobe Bryant’s face mask has its own Twitter handle

Los Angeles Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant took the court for the team’s tilt against the Minnesota Timberwolves at Staples Center on Wednesday evening with a new accessory: a molded face mask, which he was wearing to protect the broken nose he sustained during the NBA All-Star Game last Sunday after he took a hard foul from the Miami Heat’s Dwyane Wade.

It didn’t take long for some enterprising wisenheimer to create a Twitter handle for the protective guard covering Kobe’s schnozz. In fact, according the Los Angeles Times, @KobeMask instantly attracted followers soon after it went live. See, the entire bit is funny because a face mask probably couldn’t register its own Twitter handle on its own. Or type out its own tweets, for that matter.

But those technicalities did not prevent Kobe’s Mask to issue its first tweet, which read, “Lots of stars @Staples tonight. I’m a little shy.” Ha.

Some additional tweets from Kobe’s Mask throughout the evening:

  • “Thank you @DwyaneWade for finally allowing me to have my big break!”
  • “Turnover by Fish. This is not how I expected my debut to go.”
  • “Wow! I might die from a heat stroke.”
  • “We slipped a little. Sorry. It’s gonna take me some time to adjust here.”
  • “For all bookings, please see my agent @DwyaneWade! He made my appearance possible.”
  • “Martell Webster’s hair is hurting my feelings a little. I’m scared.”
  • “Metta shouldn’t take those unless he is wearing me or my siblings.”

Luckily for the Lakers and Kobe, and to a lesser extent, the mask, the new face guard appeared not to affect Bryant’s play, as he led the Lakers with 31 points in a decisive 104-85 thrashing of the Kevin Love-less T’Wolves. I hope the mask doesn’t get a big head about it, though. If that’s even possible.