Sportress of Blogitude

‘Zim Bear’ is 50 % Don Zimmer, 50% Teddy Bear, 100% Nightmare Fuel (photo)

Good Lord, even that thing would scare the living daylights out of Pedro Martinez. According to @lozotweets, who originally unleashed this freakish plush beast on the masses (by way of Sports Grid), “Zim Bear” will be given away at some Tampa Bay Rays home game at some point this season, presumably to frighten off the few people who actually make the trip to the Trop from ever returning.

Zimmer, who serves as a senior adviser in the Rays organization, probably would have preferred that Zim Bear never saw the light of day. And while the intentions I imagine were noble, Zim Bear is the kind of hybrid beast that will haunt the dreams of both the young and old alike. It resembles something which one imagines would leap from the pages of The Island of Dr. Moreau, grab a hold of the subconscious terror center of a person’s brain, never to let go.

Or alternatively, Zim Bear could be described as the unholy offspring if Teddy Ruxpin and Bea Arthur were ever to mate, if that were genetically possible. And if Bea was still among the living. May she rest in peace, never knowing the existence of this haunting creature-toy.