Sportress of Blogitude

Tennis

Hellbent on winning a Grand Slam at any cost, Wozniacki turns to training primate snipers

As many of you tennis fans are undoubtedly aware, not only is Miss Caroline Wozniacki presently dating Rory McIlroy, she has also come up woefully short in Grand Slam tournaments, never winning one despite having a stranglehold on the number-one-ranking in women’s tennis for an astonishing 67 weeks.

Well, her reign at number one recently came to a thud after losing to Kim Clijsters in the quarterfinals at the Australian Open, as her underwhelming performance at yet another Grand Slam tournament dropped her to No. 4 in the world rankings, and as you can see from the above photographic evidence uploaded by Wozniacki herself to Twitter, she is apparently willing to do anything and everything to ensure victory in an upcoming women’s Grand Slam tournament, even if it involves going so far as training an army of sharpshooting sniper primates to take out her enemies on the court.

So, look alive, future opponents of Caroline Wozniacki, just when you think you have her on the ropes you might get taken out by a monkey armed with a sniper rifle. And it will happen so fast they won’t even see it coming. These damned dirty monkeys are deadly with the gun, people.