Sportress of Blogitude

Wait: Is This Article Saying That Tim Tebow Won’t Be Hooking Up With Kim Kardashian?

Jeez, just when I thought these two had a chance, a story like this comes along…and totally blows it right out of the water!

According to this report from Complex, anyone holding out hope that Kim Kardashian might figure out a way to sink her succubus claws into Tim Tebow’s virginity, apparently, it is not to be.

Not only do sources near to Kim Kardashian agree that she has a lot of image rehab in front of her before she would ever get within galaxy distance of having her attraction to Tebow requited, but those in Tebow’s camp insist that no matter how hard she tries, it ain’t ever going to happen.

“Kim has a big crush on Tim,” says a friend. “She says he’s not only very handsome but seems like a guy with really strong values.”

“Kim needs to rehab her image to get her career revved up again,” says a source. “Dating someone like Tim Tebow would certainly do the trick.”

“Tim’s been made aware of Kim’s crush, and although flattered, he’s not interested,” said another source. “He’s an avowed virgin who’s saving himself for marriage and is looking for a woman with similar values, not someone with two failed marriages AND a sex tape in her past!”

So sad. If these two star-crossed lovers — one a spoiled, hyper-sexualized famewhore and the other, well, Tim Tebow — can’t make it happen, what hope do regular folks have?

I guess in order to put this sad tale in proper perspective, we need only to refer to Tristan and Isolde’s damnation and their fellow sinners of the flesh as depicted in Dante’s Inferno, Second Circle, Canto V. Or whatever.