Sportress of Blogitude

If It Wasn’t Bad Enough To Attend A Pistons Game, ’90s Night Will Feature Vanilla Ice

The Detroit Pistons franchise (and their fan base) are suffering through yet another moribund season of inadequacy and irrelevancy. Sitting at 3-11, there is little hope that the lads will be able to turn it around quick enough in this strike-shortened NBA season and provide an entertaining and competitive product to the fans who care to show up at the Palace of Auburn Hills as the team plays out the string.

Perhaps realizing that they were already in a bad spot as it related to getting fans in the building, the Pistons decided to rely on what every struggling professional franchise does in this kind of precarious situation: theme nights. And this Pistons came up with some doozies.

The Pistons have arranged for a “Super ’70s Night” for Friday, Jan. 20 which will feature performing artists Rose Royce, who will undoubtedly perform their one and only hit, “Car Wash.” An “I love the ’80s night” is also scheduled for Jan. 27, but the team will hit the mother lode when it comes to Bad Idea Promotions come Feb. 3 when “Totally ’90s” night invades the Palace, and it will most assuredly be a malice.

Why? Because none other than Vanilla Ice will be performing. Oh joy. Via the Pistons’ website:

Younger Pistons’ fans won’t want to miss “Totally ‘90’s” night on Friday, February 3 when Detroit hosts Brandon Jennings and the Milwaukee Bucks at 7:30 p.m. at The Palace of Auburn Hills. The first 10,000 fans in attendance will receive a commemorative Ben Gordon poster and the halftime musical performer will be 1990’s rapper Vanilla Ice, who’s single “Ice Ice Baby” was the first hip-hop single to top the Billboard charts.

Whoop-dee-doo! Vanilla Ice, y’all. Yiggy yes, y’all and so on and so forth. With this news, one can only assume that the Pistons sought out other 1990s one-hit wonder hip hop acts only to sadly discover that Snow had already booked a gig for that particular night. A-licky-boom-boom-down.

In a tweet, Detroit News columnist John Niyo (by way of SB Nation) refers to the Vanilla Ice booking as “so sad.” Couldn’t agree more. Couldn’t agree more.