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The Musical Stylings Of Has-Beens Will Be On Display For Super Bowl XLVI Attendees

 

According to a recent AP report, Madonna will not be the only musical retread during Super Bowl festivities attempting to reignite a stalled career when she drags her washed-up, bony and deathly pale act up on the stage during Super Bowl XLVI’s halftime show. Nope. In fact, there will be a cavalcade of acts we haven’t heard from since their one-hit wonder days of the ’80s and ’90s entertaining attendees of during the buildup to the Super Bowl during pregame festivities in Indianapolis.

The AP report highlights Patti LaBelle, Bret Michaels and En Vogue as some of the artists who will perform free concerts during Super Bowl week. En Vogue? Why them? Even if you managed to “Free Your Mind,” as to the reasons behind that choice, no matter how hard you try, “You’re Never Gonna Get It.”

And it doesn’t end there. To wit:

A specific schedule was not announced. Other artists scheduled to appear include Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Corey Cox, Darius Rucker, Dierks Bentley, Edwin McCain, Fitz & the Tantrums, Fuel, Here Come the Mummies, IU’s Straight No Chaser, LMFAO, O.A.R, Railroad Earth, Sixpence None the Richer, Umphrey’s McGee and Will Hoge. More artists are expected to be added.

Fuel? Edwin McCain? What the fungus? Sure, I’ll concede that there are some more current acts among the performers — and to be forthright, some I have never even heard of — but how about Sixpence None the Richer scoring the gig? They haven’t released a single since 2003 and their biggest hit came in 1993, “Kiss Me.” Talk about stumbling into the Wayback Machine. And Big Head Todd and the Monsters? I’ll admit it: their inclusion does evoke some “Bittersweet” memories, , but that’s another story altogether.