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ESPN Issues Press Release Announcing That The ‘MNF’ Opener Will Star…Betty White?

Hank Williams, Jr. has never wanted to savagely beat an elderly woman senseless as much as he does right now. Probably.

Yep, ESPN has announced that a true national treasure will be the centerpiece of the Dec. 26 Monday Night Football introductory opener: Betty White. As you know, ESPN has been using a bevy of well-known folks to introduce the broadcast, and as you will see by reading an excerpt from the press release, the Monday Night Football production team are a bunch of irrepressible cads.

Via ESPN Front Row:

The season finale of ESPN’s Monday Night Football falls during the holiday so it’s no surprise our production team was dreaming of a “White” Christmas in planning the open for this week’s Falcons-Saints game.

A Betty White Christmas, that is.

The legendary 89-year-old actress (pictured above) who stars in the TVLand sitcom Hot in Cleveland (Wednesday nights, 10 ET/9 CT) and the upcoming NBC show Off Their Rockers is the star of next week’s holiday-themed open, which was shot yesterday in California.

ESPN’s production team was looking to cast a warm grandmotherly type, and White was the perfect choice.

Ha. A Betty White Christmas. Get it? Cleverness aside, if we stick with ESPN’s line of thinking and try to come up with alternate choices of personalities to film the spot, we realize they missed some humdingers of potential opener stars. How about:

  • Jack White
  • Meg White
  • Jaleel White (Urkel!)
  • Shaun White
  • Vanna White
  • Michael Jai White
  • Dana White

Now, call me crazy, but I see several names on that list that would have fit the bill just a capably as Betty White.

What’s that? The ESPN production team was looking for a warm, grandmotherly type? Are you trying to tell me Shaun White and Urkel aren’t grandmotherly? Have you ever tried either of those guys’ homemade fudge? It’s delicious.