Sportress of Blogitude

Magic Fan Wakes Up From Dental Surgery, Talks About Dwight Howard Leaving (Video)

This is Marshall Coleman. He is a huge Orlando Magic fan. After emerging from surgery to get his wisdom teeth removed and in a slightly drug-induced stupor and sounding somewhat like Mushmouth from Fat Albert, all he apparently wanted to discuss was Dwight Howard’s imminent departure from his beloved team. Among the things young Marshall had to say about the situation: he loves Dwight Howard — a lot. So much so, in fact, that after Marshall gets married in August (?) and after doing so, he and his wife are going to “adopt Dwight Howard as my first child.” Also: Dwight Howard is “the best basketball player in the seven-foot race,” although I’m not sure we should really hold him accountable for that statement. The kid is loosey-goosey, people.

Towards the end of the video, Marshall says he wants to give Dwight Howard a hug — beat him in H-O-R-S-E, too, but mainly a hug. If he could, Marshall would say the following to the Magic center: “Good luck, man. Jesus loves you…and I love you too, man.”

And in the end, Marshall realizes that Howard can go wherever he wants, just so long as “God leads him there…because he’s such a good guy…such a good guy.”

Oh, one last nugget: during the ride home, he announces that he loves “Bhhhinnghhh Crawwwsby!” Awesome. “David After Dentist” doesn’t have anything on Marshall Coleman. At least Marshall has a message.

[H/T Ball Don’t Lie]