You Can’t Stop Nickelback, You Can Only Hope A Falling Meteor Vaporizes Their Tour Bus
When a group of enterprising Detroit Lions fans formed an alliance to circulate an online petition last week in a desperate effort to prevent Nickelback from performing at halftime of the Lions’ Thanksgiving Day game on Nov. 24 against the Green Bay Packers, many hoped that such an inspired movement might work. Sadly, despite over 51,000 people signing a digital petition in order to express their abhorrence at the thought of the poseur rock outfit sullying their holiday good-time cheer, it was not to be as it now has been confirmed that indeed, Nickelback will “rock” Ford Field on Turkey Day. A sad day for the ears of the citizens of Detroit, nay, the nation, to be sure.
Tracy Holmes, the United Way’s NFL partnership director, issued the following statement, which in no way alluded to the online movement, “We’re grateful to Nickelback for donating their time and resources to the United Way Thanksgiving Halftime Show.”
Nickelback also released a statement and they as well made no mention to the fact that NO ONE WANTS THEM TO BE THERE: “We are honored to perform at the United Way halftime show on Thanksgiving Day,” singer Chad Kroeger said in the release. “We always love playing in Detroit. Our fans there have been tremendously supportive of us through the years, and we can’t wait to come back and celebrate an exciting day for the Lions and the city of Detroit.” Well, WHOOP-DEE-FREAKING-DOO!!!
What an utter disappointment. Well, I guess I know when I’ll be making time for my mid-afternoon constitutional. Seems fitting, does it not?
Protest aside, Nickelback confirmed as Lions Thanksgiving performer [Detroit Free Press via Shutdown Corner]