According To Global Associated News, Tiger Woods Is Dead* (*He’s Not)
Shocking, right? But thankfully — and shamefully, I might add — it’s all a load of B.S. Actually, for the uninitiated, this isn’t the first time Global Associated News has reported the untimely death of a celebrity. In fact, it appears to be something of an oft-used schtick for them, a complete fabrication of events, whoever they are. That is, unless you believe Owen Wilson and Adam Sandler also died today, both in snowboarding accidents, not to mention the fact that Tom Hanks also met his death this very day as well.
I don’t get how they can get away with this stuff, but I’m sure it drives traffic to their craptastic site, and really, isn’t that all that matters. Truth be damned, people.
All I know is I wish they would update us on how Bat Boy is doing. That sure would be nice.