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Wake N’ Blog: Man Pleads Guilty To Injecting Semen In Co-Worker’s Food

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• A 60-year-old Pennsylvania man faces two years in prison after entering a guilty plea in federal court to tampering with a consumer product relating to charges that he injected semen into the food of two co-workers. Joseph Bartorillo’s attorney said his client is “very, very remorseful.” It did not indicate into what kind of food the guy injected semen into, but I’m too grossed out to look into it further. [azcentral]

• Dwyane Wade said the Heat didn’t win because they were trying to win in order to spite people. [Larry Brown Sports]

NBA 2K12 reveals 43 new in-game legends. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• Awesome: a song with lyrics created entirely out of Mike Tyson quotes. [Sports Crackle Pop!]

• Here’s video of a Canadian sports anchor winning the lottery during a live broadcast. [Bob’s Blitz]

• Is porn star Courtney Cummz hitting on ESPN’s Michelle Beadle on Twitter? [Busted Coverage]

• Check out this goalie giving up a goal from the opposing blue line. [Puck Daddy]

• Yale’s QB might have to choose between playing against Harvard and a Rhodes Scholar interview. [Off the Bench]

• Hilarious: “MLB Releases the Season-In-Review DVD Titles for All 16 National League Teams” [Sports Pickle]

• MSF is back with another Photo Story: “‘Sucks For Luck,” starring Andrew Luck, Peyton Manning, and with special musical guest Jim Irsay” [Midwest Sports Fans]

• Another Friday morning, another edition of KSK’s Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• A quick rundown of female celebrities who date professional athletes. [Unathletic]

The Onion Headline of the Day: David Freese Swarmed In St. Louis By Hordes Of Swooning, Average-Looking Women