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Wake N’ Blog: Bologna Is Now Being Smuggled Across The U.S.-Mexico Border

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• If you thought the influx of illegal drugs making its way into the United States was bad, wait until you hear about the latest threat to our domestic security: a New Mexico resident was busted at the border attempting to smuggle 76 pounds of bologna into the country which was hidden in his pickup truck’s spare tire. Border patrol grew suspicious when, after asking his name, the man replied, “My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R.” [az central]

• Is the NBA lockout entirely the fault of Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert? [With Leather]

• Here’s the entire transcript of Tony La Russa’s bullpen fiasco explanation. [Big League Stew]

• And just so you know, La Russa is still smarter than all of us. [Rumors & Rants]

• One last La Russa-based nugget: his wife called the World Series “The Redbirds vs. The Rednecks.” [Busted Coverage]

• Arizona has made girls beach volleyball a high school sport. [Off the Bench]

• Ouch: Chris Pronger took a stick in the eye. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Dophins coach Tony Sparano to referee: “Now I’m getting fired.” [Shutdown Corner]

• Peter King: still a complete tool. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• The “Rally Squirrel Rap” is something else. [Outside the Boxscore]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Andy Reid Asks Sean Payton If He Is Going To Eat His Torn MCL