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Wake N’ Blog: Drug-Addled Driver Tells Police He Had Only ‘Two Pizzas To Drink’

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• A man who was charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia told police that he had only two pizzas to drink at lunch when police questioned him after he crashed his car into a ditch. Police discovered two syringes filled with a brown liquid believed to be heroin were in plain sight in 68-year-old Don Adams’ car. [msnbc]

• Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh will not be fined by the NFL for their postgame antics on Sunday. [Shutdown Corner]

• A 100-year-old man raced in and finished a marathon. Yep. [With Leather]

• Jon Gruden, this guy, has signed a five-year exclusive Monday Night Football extension. [Awful Announcing]

• Speaking of Gruden, check out him taking the lead in an awkward fist bump with his booth cohorts. [Midwest Sports Fans]

• Rajon Rondo had the best summer ever. [The Basketball Jones]

• An episode of AMC’s excellent series, The Walking Dead, outdrew Game 6 of the NLCS on Sunday. [Big League Stew]

• Manny Pacquiao doesn’t have sex for three weeks leading up to fights. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Here’s video of a goalie turning his back during a penalty kick to protest a call. [Off the Bench]

• Michael Jordan talked trash to Bill Clinton during a round of golf. [Outside the Boxscore]

• Some fan held up a sweet herpes sign during the Arizona-Oregon State game last weekend. [Busted Coverage]

• “In the galaxy of equivocating slobs, Peter King is one” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Sweet poll: Which NFL head coach would you most like to punch in the face? [Sports Pickle]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Tony La Russa Proving That You Can Win With An Insane A**hole As Manager