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(Video) NBA Lockout News Receives The Taiwanese Animation Treatment

Well, why in the heck wouldn’t it? There is a whole bunch of goodness in this latest entry in superb Taiwanese Animation-based reporting, but first, from NMA World Edition:

The collective bargaining agreement between NBA players and owners expired on July 1, initiating a lockout.

Players currently receive 57% of basketball-related income. Owners are lobbying for a more even split.

Owners claim most teams in the league are bleeding money, saying they lost a combined $300 million last year.

Critics are skeptical of the grim picture owners paint. Teams are able to earn millions through local TV deals.

The players aren’t exactly hurting, either. They’re fighting a hard salary cap that would limit their extravagant contracts.

The first two weeks of the season have been cancelled, prompting some players to join foreign leagues. We in Taiwan say, “long live the lockout!”

Funny, I’d say there is a considerable proportion of Americans who agree with the Taiwan citizens’ sentiment, but moving on, some notes from the video report, in bullet point form:

  • Why is David Stern portrayed as a decrepit, ghoulish and sinister old man? Other than for symbolic purposes, of course.
  • Speaking of Stern, his sound defensive technique against Kobe Bryant Derek Fisher is impeccable. Who knew the guy could ball?
  • More on Stern (no, I didn’t just call him a moron…get it?), few thing have a more depraved appearance than a psychotic league commissioner shredding a table while wielding a chainsaw to cut up a pizza. I wonder if it was Papa John’s, or has that chain only cornered the NFL market?
  • The depiction of the Clippers, Bucks and Pistons as logos on legs in hospital beds is a little unsettling.
  • Even more unsettling: Stern marrying Time Warner — which is portrayed as an ugly bald man — and then carrying his blushing bride into the Honeymoon Sweet. Bow-chick-a-bow-wow.
  • LeBron’s crown getting replaced by a hard cap to illustrate a hard salary cap. Ha. I get it.

Hey, it’s funny. Now that it’s been put in its proper animated perspective, the issues surrounding the NBA lockout makes a lot more sense. I think. Thanks, Taiwanese Animation!