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Wake N’ Blog: Walmart Bleach Fight Causes Evacuation, Rare Cleanliness

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• Two women engaged in an ongoing dispute mixed it up in a Maryland Walmart had the ante upped when one of them poured bleach and Pine Sol on the other woman, prompting officials to evacuate the store for two hours. Reports indicate that 19 people were sent to the hospital for injuries but it is not mentioned anywhere the inherent benefits spilling bleach in a Walmart has on the store itself and the gross dredges of humanity who shop there. [azcentral]

• The Philadelphia Flyers had a promotion where fans could win tickets to Wednesday’s game by extracting potential winning pucks from a ginormous block of ice. Yeah, I’m confused, too. [Puck Daddy]

• Awesome: one-time Raiders head coach Mike Shanahan once ordered Elvis Grbac to drill Al Davis in the head with a football during warmups. [Shutdown Corner]

• If the Indianapolis Colts end up with number one overall draft pick next year, they  would consider drafting Andrew Luck. (head asplodes) [Larry Brown Sports]

• The NBA has canceled the first two weeks of the season and I feel fine. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• Ever seen a video of an antelope running over a mountain biker? Click through and you can cross that one off your bucket list. [Off the Bench]

• Ah yes, my favorite verbal gaffe: Antonio Pierce called Donovan McNabb an “escape goat.” [Bob’s Blitz]

• Here is a Cam Newton fan terrorizing a little girl during last Sunday’s game. [Busted Coverage]

• Ouch: race horse runs into rail, tossing jockey. [Outside the Boxscore]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Horny Man Not Even Going To Inflate Her All The Way