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Wake N’ Blog: Grocery Store Worker Pleads Guilty To Giving Out Semen-Tainted Yogurt

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• I know, it’s gross, but it be true: Anthony Garcia, an employee at a market in Albuquerque, New Mexico, faces up to three years in prison after he admitted that he placed some of his own semen on a plastic spoon he used to give a woman a sample of yogurt. Garcia pleaded guilty to adultering food and providing false statements to federal investigators. Now the super gross part, according to the AP report: “The woman told police that after tasting the sample, she spit on the floor several times and wiped her mouth on the garment she was wearing to get the taste out of her mouth. Investigators collected samples of the woman’s spit from the floor and took the garment she was wearing as evidence.” Nasty. [msnbc]

• Awesome: The Top 10 sports-related episodes of The Simpsons of all-time. [Off the Bench]

• The 7 most heartwarming stories from the NHL preseason. [Puck Daddy]

• A reporter dropped an f-bomb during a Seattle Seahawks pregame show. [Guyism]

• An NFL rookie who was fined $20K for a hit was told to appeal the fine by the guy he hit. [Shutdown Corner]

• Tracy McGrady is very rich, by evidenced by the fact he claimed he could buy the country of Greece. [The Basketball Jones]

• Tim Tebow’s pep talk on The Biggest Loser was very Tim Tebow-esque. [Outside the Boxscore]

• Just so you know, John Wall will cross you over even if you’re not a basketball player. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• The Dugout takes an entertaining look at Brian Wilson’s new Taco Bell commercial. [With Leather]

• Ha. ESPN The Magazine: Body Issues. [TAUNTR]

• Just like every week, here’s KSK’s Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Sidney Crosby Tells Telephone Pole He Has Recovered From Concussion