Sportress of Blogitude

Some New York Doofus Pins A-Rod’s, Jeter’s Struggles On Their Relationship Status

The statistics compiled by the New York Daily News are compelling, but we really going to attribute the fact that Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter struggled after their high profile breakups with Cameron Diaz and Minka Kelly, respectively, and have continued to struggle in the postseason, solely on the fact that they are newly single?

According to the stats provided, A-Rod’s batting average was .150 after his split with Diaz in mid-September and he has been abysmal in the playoff series against the Detroit Tigers, going an abysmal 0-10 heading into Tuesday evening’s must-win game for the Yankees. Prior to the breakup, Rodriguez was batting .284.

Jeter, whose relationship with Kelly ended in late August, went on a bit of a slide but not one as severe as the one suffered by A-Rod (.264 since the split, .299 before it). On the other hand, Jeter is performing decently in the postseason — although not the production one has come to expect from Jeter in October — going 4-15 with four runs scored.

So, the question remains, are the two Bronx Bombers missing their gals and because of that, they carry their heavy hearts to the plate, adversely affecting their approach, and consequently, their production? Allow Aaron Lynah, 31, who the Daily News quoted in the piece for no apparent reason other than that he was watching a playoff game on the Upper West Side, drop some completely unscientific evidence on you in a scientific manner:

“There’s a direct relationship between their batting averages plummeting and their breaking up with their girlfriends,” said Aaron Lynah, 31, of the upper West Side, who was watching last night’s game against the Tigers at McGarry’s in midtown.

“If you’re with a good woman, in your mind you have the inspiration to play harder.”

Direct relationship, you say? How about some backup for that assertion? What say you, fellow bar patron and pal of Aaron Lynah?

Lynah’s friend Steve Rewinski, 27, of Crown Heights, Brooklyn, said Jeter and A-Rod need to meet a nice city girl. “Everyone in New York should do their part to help the boys,” he said. “Come on, ladies. Step up.”

Indeed, Steve. Indeed. One problem with these what-I-am-inclined-to-assume are two hipster doofuses and their madcap theories: if the Yankees don’t win Tuesday night, their season is over, thereby rendering the necessity for all the ladies in New York to “step up” to quell the perceived girl troubles of the two Yankees stars moot. I guess there is always next year, which would afford the women of NYC all the time in the world to put these two lovelorn souls in the right frame of mind come spring training. Ain’t that right, Yankees fans?

A-Rod, Derek Jeter slumping at plate since splitting with Cameron Diaz, Minka Kelly [New York Daily News]