Sportress of Blogitude

Paper Masks From The Detroit Free Press Allow You To ‘Be Your Favorite Tiger’

Hey Tigers fans, would you like to show up at Comerica Park looking exactly like Jim Leyland without the 50 years of smoking two packs a day? How about Jhonny Peralta without consuming 8,000 calories a day? Well, if you are one of those folks who also happen to have a color printer at your disposal, you — yes, you — can take advantage of the Detroit Free Press‘ do-it-yourself “Be Your Favorite Tiger” masks.

Granted, they masks are PDF files so you’ll need to update your Adobe Reader software (again), but imagine the looks of admiration and envy you’ll be on the receiving end of when you take your seat to cheer on your beloved Detroit Tigers. Either that or you will awake in the back of an ambulance after seriously injuring yourself because you didn’t cut big enough eye holes and ended up tumbling down the steps, much to everyone’s delight who wasn’t silly enough to take up the hometown newspaper’s ridiculous offer. Although at the same time, I bet you wouldn’t catch any gruff from any wisenheimers while sporting the Jim Leyland mask. It presents quite the intimidating presence, even in cheesy paper mask form.

Which brings me to my final point in this horrible example of Gotta Support the Team Fail: on the page of the Free Press’ website where the download is available, it clearly states that all one has to do is “follow the directions” located on your mask printout. Sorry, but if a person requires directions in order to successfully cut out and assemble one’s “Be Your Favorite Tiger” mask, methinks said woodhead shouldn’t be allowed to use scissors. Well, maybe those kid-friendly ones, but definitely not the grown-up variety.

[H/T Big League Stew]