Sportress of Blogitude

Off Topic

(Video) This Walmart Employee Pep Rally Is The Saddest Thing You’ll Ever See

I have no clue what exactly is the context of this sublimely — yet sadly — hilarious video, nor am I aware how long it has been around, but believe me, upon watching it, you will instantly feel so much better about your lot in life solely due to the encouraging fact you were not present for this wholly depressing scene.

For those of you unable to watch it due to the draconian policies of your place of employment (still, be thankful you don’t work for Walmart), here’s the rundown: Manager Guy assembles the crew for a little impromptu pumping up before the beginning of the shift, and what better way to do it than by going with a foot-stomping, hand-clapping rendition of Queen’s “We Will Rock You” but instead of the original lyrics, he alters them into, “We are, we are Walmart” (stomp stomp clap, stomp stomp clap). It’s dreadful. I particularly enjoy the malaise expressed by the guy holding the camera when he halfheartedly chants along. Once.

So, thank your lucky stars you weren’t one of these poor, poor employees. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was learned that at least two of them hung themselves in the employee break room before the end of their shift.

[H/T Sports Pickle]