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Wake N’ Blog: Man Wins Dumpling Eating Contest, Promptly Dies

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• A 77-year-old man from Ukraine tragically expired after winning a dumpling eating contest in the town of Tokmak. Ivan Mendel ate 10 dumplings in 30 seconds to win but began feeling ill a short time later and died. The prize for winning the contest? A 1-liter bottle of sour cream. Well, I guess there are some things that make sense to risk your life, and a tub of sour cream is certainly one of them. [Yahoo!]

• Ivan Tkachenko, the captain of Lokomotiv Yaroslavl and one of the many players and coaches who died in the tragic plane crash, was secretly donating money to sick kids. [Puck Daddy]

• For the first time in 30 years, the Detroit Lions are favored in Minnesota. As a Vikings fan, all I have to say is this: sigh. [Shutdown Corner]

• A 14-year-old student with autism was handcuffed and subsequently suspended for running across a football field during a game while wearing a banana suit. [Off the Bench]

• A man charged with stealing Miami Dolphins jerseys wore a Miami Dolphins jersey to his court hearing. [The Slanch Report]

• Check out this massive game of dodgeball. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

Rollings Stone has named Charles Barkley one of the best characters on television. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• What should be everybody’s new favorite TUMBLR: “F*ck Yeah! Nancy Grace Monster Jams.” [With Leather]

• Ladies and gentlemen: “The Many Dives of Deon Grant.” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Blake Griffin’s Funny or Die video: “Flight of the Griffins.” [That NBA Lottery Pick]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Report: Majority Of Baseball Players Swallow Up To Six Baseballs In Their Sleep Per Year