Sportress of Blogitude

(Photo) Jonah Hill Indulges Rangers Mascot’s Scalp-Sucking Fetish


Kinky. Brad Pitt wouldn’t have put up with those kind of shenanigans.

An in-shape Hill, on a whirlwind promotional tour to pimp his new flick, Moneyball, is touring major league baseball stadiums from sea to shining sea in this great nation of ours and it appears a component of said tour — at least at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington Thursday evening — will involve Hill throwing out the ceremonial first pitch (video follows).

But one unfortunate byproduct of visiting the ballpark Thursday night was the overaggressive nature of Rangers Captain, the horndogging mascot of the Rangers. I mean look at that. Rangers Captain is really going to town on Jonah’s head. He’s treating his cranium like it is a slat lick, for Pete’s sake. That can’t be an enjoyable experience…unless you’re in to that kind of stuff.

How about we move along from such depravity and see how Hill fared on the mound. Given the typical achievement level of ceremonial first pitchers (I’m looking at you, Curt Schilling, and about a thousand other people), it shouldn’t be too difficult to put on a respectable showing.

Hey man, that wasn’t too bad. And I imagine as Hill continues on his ballpark tour, given the opportunity, he will get better and better. According to the tweet attached to the above photo, Hill will next be in San Francisco. I wonder what kind of sexual depravity the Giants mascot, Lou Seal, gets into. Actually, I don’t want to know. Some things are better left between a mascot and a visiting Hollywood celebrity.

[image via @JonahHill, video via FOX Sports Southwest]