Sportress of Blogitude

Official NFL Team Pillow Pets Are About The Cutest Darn Things You’ll Ever See

Last week, the Sportress touched upon the nightmare fuel-inducing nature of the Pittsburgh Steelers-Steely McBeam Pillow Pet. Today, I have come across a whole heaping load of NFL team Pillow Pets, and let me tell you, the initial dread I felt considering what sort of terrors were about to be released upon the innocent children of NFL fans was instantly lessened when I took a gander at the offerings from other NFL teams. So unlike the terror-inspiring Steely McBeam abomination.

I mean, take a look at the Dallas Cowboys Pillow Pet. Now if that thing ain’t adorable, well, shoot, I don’t know what could be considered adorable. I mean, that’s as cute as the praise Jerry Jones heaped upon Tony Romo for his woeful performance last Sunday night against the Jets.

On the particular site I came across, only nineteen of the teams in the National Football League are represented in the magical Pillow Pet Kingdom. Perhaps there are more and every team has their very own Pillow Pet — the fact that Steely McBeam Pillow Pet conspicuously is not on the site lends credence to that possibility — but just for the fun of it, how about we take a look at the 18 additional Pillow Pets and marvel at their respective adorableness?

New Orleans Saints Pillow Pet: for an extra $5, it comes with a trademark Drew Brees birthmark

Baltimore Ravens Pillow Pet: perfect source of comfort for kids terrified by Ray Lewis

Oakland Raiders Pillow Pet: a welcome alternative to the ultra-realistic doll of owner Al Davis.

New England Patriots Pillow Pet: give Bill Belichick an offseason with this guy, he’ll turn him into a Pro Bowl-caliber player

Detroit Lions Pillow Pet: much like the team’s franchise quarterback, this little guy’s shoulders can’t stay connected to the rest of its body

New York Jets Pillow Pet: Rex Ryan wants to know why it doesn’t have any toes

New York Giants Pillow Pet: the only thing that has ever made head coach Tom Coughllin smile.

Atlanta Falcons Pillow Pet: you wouldn’t think so by looking at it, but this is one Dirty Bird, not recommended for children

Philadelphia Eagles Pillow Pet: Sorry, Philly fans: batteries not included

Indinapolis Colts Pillow Pet: warning: may require repeated neck repair

Kansas City Chiefs Pillow Pet: just wishes someone would notice it

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Pillow Pet: (insert lazy pirate joke)

Cleveland Browns Pillow Pet: for some reason, this guy has an irrational hatred for LeBron James


Buffalo Bills Pillow Pet: you don’t even want to know what Chris Berman does with his little buddy, and I can assure you it doesn’t involve taking it to Applebee’s

Cincinnati Bengals Pillow Pet: will be forced into early retirement by unreasonable owner Mike Brown

Chicago Bears Pillow Pet: Jay Cutler thinks it is ugly and stupid

San Francisco 49ers Pillow Pet: preferred 10:1 to Alex Smith by 49ers fans at the QB position