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Giants Pitcher Suffered Nerve Damage Prying Apart Frozen Burgers

You can now count San Francisco Giants reliever Jeremy Affeldt among the ranks of baseball players who have suffered hilariously awful injuries doing everyday, albeit somewhat irresponsible, activities.

Affeldt was at a barbecue last Thursday when he was presented with a conundrum not uncommon for the guy doing the grilling: a stack of frozen hamburgers. Personally, I would always suggest using never-frozen patties, but I also understand sometimes situations like this cannot be avoided. What can be avoided, however, is using a big, sharp knife to pry them apart. That was Affeldt’s first mistake.

From the Mercury News (via The Slanch Report):

“I should have used hot water,” Affeldt said in a phone interview with a pool reporter from The Associated Press. “If I had used a butter knife, nothing would have happened.”

Affeldt is now done for the season, as the wounds to his hand due to his reckless use of dangerous kitchen tools resulted in a wound so deep, it caused nerve damage and Affeldt required surgery to properly treat the injury. Derp, indeed. Also, never, ever use hot water to thaw meats. First of all, it is not safe and secondly, you are going to ruin the meat. Why don’t you just boil the darn patties and save yourself a step?

Good news, though: with proper rest and rehabilitation, Affeldt should make a full recovery. He also learned a valuable lesson: always use fresh meat and be careful with knives. Those things can be pretty sharp, you know.

San Francisco Giants update: Reliever Jeremy Affeldt slices hand with knife, out for season [Mercury News (via The Slanch Report)]