Along With The Name Change, Artest Will Also Change His Jersey Number (Update)
As I am sure many of you marked this date on your calendars months ago so you would not forget to properly celebrate this wondrous holiday, today is officially “Metta World Peace Day.” Well, not officially. I mean, don’t try to leave work early today or anything and get in an argument with your boss about the company’s infringement upon your rights to celebrate new holidays, but it nevertheless remains a red letter day in that Ron Artest will officially become Metta World Peace some time today.
Artest had a chat with Yahoo! Sports’ Marc J. Spears and here’s what he had to say about this momentous occasion (via The Basketball Jones):
“You can call me Ron today and then it’s over. It’s a wrap,” Artest said. “It’s about love, world peace. Everybody can relate to that, whether it’s in the same community or the same state or the same country or whether it’s a country going to war.
“It’s about world peace. You know what I mean? The kids need to know that, and they know that now.
Why yes, even a country heading into battle can take a moment away from the rigamarole of warmongering to celebrate love and world peace. I’m surprised you did not know that.
To further commemorate his name change to Metta World Peace, the Los Angeles Lakers forward also intends to change his jersey number from No. 15. to No. 70, whenever the lockout is lifted. Of course, the reason behind the change is a wondrous display of vintage Artestian logic, in that it makes no freaking sense whatsoever.
“I’m changing it to 70 because it’s like something to do with the universe,” Artest said. “Everything kind of repeats itself. The universe is one. It’s the same thing. Healthy minds, just keeping the kids positive.”
Of course. The number 70. Duh. Like something to do with the universe, to be sure. But if the universe is one, as Artest, er, Metta World Peace postulates, wouldn’t it have made much more sense go with the “1” for a jersey number? Sure it would, but then that wouldn’t be Ron Artest now, would it? I mean Metta World Peace. That is going to be hard to break that habit.
Note: TBJ has performed, in their words, “A very important investigative report in to Ron Artest’s number change.” It is well worth the read as it is a very important investigative report. Something I shouldn’t have had to tell you since it was just alluded to in the previous sentence. Try and keep up, people.
UPDATE: Via TMZ, Ron Artest is still named Ron Artest due to some outstanding traffic ticket warrants. The hearing for his name change has been continued to September 16th to give him time to clear everything up.
Artest: World Peace coming soon [Yahoo! Sports]