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Wake N’ Blog: Man Employs Fred Flintstone Method To Stop Brakeless Truck, Fails

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• WILMAAAAAAAA!!! Admitting that he knew the brakes on his truck were not working, a 24-year-old Detroit-area man nevertheless took it out for a drive. When it came time to slow the vehicle down, the man stuck his feet out the door and attempted to stop the car with his feet. It didn’t work. He could not stop at an intersection and struck two vehicles, then two more at the next one. The man finally was able to stop the truck after an officer caught up with him and told him to put it in park. What a woodhead. [msnbc]

• Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Brady’s new Uggs for Men ad. [Larry Brown Sports]

• The Chinese media has completely ignored the Georgetown brawl story. [D.C. Sports Bog]

• Michael Irvin called Miami booster Nevin Shapiro a “snake” and a “rapist.” But how do you really feel about him, Michael? [Off the Bench]

• Speaking of which, here’s Miami and Nevin Shapiro by the numbers. [TAUNTR]

• Impermissible tattoos worse than beating your girlfriend, so says the NFL. [With Leather]

• An absolutely hilarious photo of Tiger Woods. [Devil Ball Golf]

• A hipster Knicks fans reflects on the NBA lockout. [The Basketball Jones]

• Aaron Rodgers really wanted to play in San Francisco. [Shutdown Corner]

• Check out this video of a minor league pitcher lumbering to home plate, which he proceeds pile drive himself on. [Bob’s Blitz]

• GAH! The MLB praying mantis is back! [Outside the Boxscore]

• The Michael Vick character makes his triumphant return to say the NFL told him the NFL did not force him to join the Eagles. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Hilarious headline/photo combination: “Succulent racks attract record crowds to Ribfest.” You have to see this one. [Midwest Sports Fans]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Man Somehow Overcomes Alcoholism Without Jesus