Sportress of Blogitude

Here’s Teddy The Racing President Getting Jacked Up By A Guy In A Monkey Suit

Boy, now that’s a headline I never thought I’d write. I bet you could have a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters for a million years and that sentence would never be re-wrote. Or however that saying goes. But I digress.

Moving on, for the uninitiated, the President’s Race is a silly promotional thing the Washington Nationals put on for the fans during home games at Nationals Park. If features former Presidents George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, and Theodore Roosevelt racing; or to put it more accurately, it features men dressed in costumes with over-sized heads depicting the former Presidents, as all four of those guys are dead. Sad, I know, but our great country has always displayed a remarkable capacity to move forward despite unfortunate tragedies.

Be that as it may, the running gag in the race is that Teddy the President has never won the race, despite coming oh so close on countless occasions. There is even a website solely devoted to poor Teddy’s plight.

Well, once again, Teddy was sniffing victory. In fact, he was only mere steps away from achieving the impossible: winning the dang race . Unfortunately, something, or someone, as it were, prevented Teddy from victorious glory just before he crossed the finish line first: a man dressed in a monkey suit wearing a Stephen Strasburg jersey. Some dead Presidents can never catch a break, man.

All that aside, I have one last thing I would like to add: sure, I have heard that Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a terrific movie, but these cross-promotional events are getting a bit out of hand, especially when it causes Teddy the Racing President to suffer additional, embarrassing, anguish-causing failure.

[H/T D.C. Sports Bog]