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Sportress of Blogitude

Off Topic

(Off Topic) Bad Idea Footwear: First Cleats, The Cleats For Babies!

As a proud papa of an infant girl, as I am sure is the case with any other parents of babies out there, I have often watched by nearly 3-month-old baby and thought, “Do you know what would help her with rolling over from back to front all by herself for the first time and help expedite her transition into her crawling stage? A pair of cleats to dig into the carpet, that’s what!”

Thankfully, there is a company out there that also saw the lack of baby cleats in the marketplace: First Cleats. The motto of the company speaks for itself: “First Cleats Make Every Baby An MVB (Most Valuable Baby.”

The brainchild of Diana Lynn Ultican, who know serves as the Executive VP of the, um, newborn operation – and I didn’t confirm this, but I think we’re safe in this assumption – First Cleats is the first company solely devoted to the baby cleats market.

From KOMO News (via Off the Bench):

“My daughter and I got the idea for First Cleats after watching her children, my grandchildren, play sports,” said Executive VP of First Cleats Diana Lynn Ultican. “We were having a get together one night and we thought about the idea for the shoes and getting new born babies on the path to athleticism.”

Brilliant. It’s high time parents stopped allowing their infant children to get by so easily, living high on the hog, and get them on the right path to athleticism. As any parent can attest, all babies primarily do is poop and eat all day. Is that the kind of attitudes you want to instill in your children and the life lessons you would like to teach to an infant right from the get go? I think not! Children’s sports is a highly competitive endeavor. You cannot afford to be lackadaisical about adequately preparing your infant for a lifetime of trying to get ahead. You snooze, you lose, I say.  Especially with all the naps babies take. Geez, talk about lazy.

Further, as I esteemed colleague Rick Chandler asks in his piece on the topic over at Off the Bench, “Exactly what ‘sports’ were these babies playing that would require cleats?” Granted, they are cute little shoes and have a sense of whimsy about them, you know there are parents out there who take this kind of stuff far too seriously who are now panicking because their 4-month-old doesn’t have a pair of First Cleats. Got to keep up with Joneses, right?

But tell me, other than their snappy appearance (they are adorable) which come in one size (0-6 months) and retail for $29.95, why should I choose to invest in a pair of First Cleats for my little girl?

“It’s so fun to watch people’s reactions to the shoes,” Ultican said. “There’s not one person who doesn’t get a big smile on their face after seeing them.”

The one-of-a-kind cleats are soft, comfortable and fully chewable, Ultican said.

Fully chewable, you say? Sold. Teething is just right around the corner, you know.

Note: I would be remiss not to point out that First Cleats will donate $2.00 for every pair of cleats purchased online to the Seattle Children’s Hospital, so I will give them credit for their charitable actions.

Kirkland company puts baby feet in cleats [KOMO News (via Off the Bench)]