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Wake N’ Blog: It’s Not A Good Idea To Be Wasted When Performing Mayoral Duties

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• Martin Resendiz, the mayor of Sunland Park, New Mexico, acknowledged during a deposition that he was schnockered when he signed nine contracts with a California architectural firm. The firm is now suing the city for $1 million for work performed under those contracts but the city contends the contracts were not valid because they were not approved by the city council. Also, their mayor is a d-horn. [azcentral]

• Awesome: that young Diamondbacks fan who gave the baseball to that younger kid at a game received a plaque from Jimmy Kimmel. [Off the Bench]

• Bill Belichick once made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on a Cleveland talk show and here is the video to prove it. [Larry Brown Sports]

• What the fungus? Pee Wee Herman made an appearance at Dallas Cowboys training camp. [Busted Coverage]

• The rumors about a possible Michelle Beadle-Erin Andrews feud have been spinning out of control. [Awful Announcing]

• LeBron James defended Tim Tebow on Twitter. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• Nothing wrong with that: Gina Carano set to return to the world of MMA. [Rumors & Rants]

• Stephen Curry’s engagement photo announcement is awesome. [The Basketball Jones]

• Time for another educational edition of KSK’s Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Worst. Corner. Kick. Ever. [Outside the Boxscore]

• This could very well be the greatest beer pong shot ever. [Midwest Sports Fans]

• Pro Football Talk commenters are a bunch of mouthbreathers. [PineRiders]

• Today in The Dugout: A-Rod’s Violent Gambling Parties. [With Leather]

• Speaking of A-Rod, here is his personalized poker deck. [TAUNTR]

• Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you: couch surfing. [Bob’s Blitz]

• The 7 players on your fantasy football roster. [Sports Pickle]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Cris Carter Enters Football Hall Of Fame As Paying Customer