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Exercises In Garish Awfulness: Northwestern’s Basketball Court Design Proposals

GAH! My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

Above you see one of the four proposals that are being offered up for a new design for the basketball court for Northwestern University’s Welsh-Ryan Arena. The other three options are below, which are nowhere close to as bad as the above redesign proposal, because when it comes to garish awfulness, the above one takes the cake. A cake with way too much purple frosting.

If you are so inclined, you can visit the Welsh-Ryan court renderings Facebook page and vote on which abomination you find the least off-putting and objectionable. The university will reveal the winning design in mid-August.

For what it’s worth, NU alum Michael Wilbon says he hates all four options and will hate them just as much at the same time tomorrow, knuckleheads. Even Prince thinks that’s an overload of purple. Just looking at the above option caused Grimace to contemplate suicide by jumping into a giant vat of boiling bleach. After seeing the proposals, Alice Walker has demanded that the title of her classic novel be changed to The Color Purple (But Not So Purple As The God Awful Northwestern Basketball Court Design Proposals). Now, I mean no disrespect to Miss Walker, but I would have simply went with The Color Violet. It probably would have went over better with the publishing house. Not so wordy.

I guess what I’m getting at here is that I don’t much care for any of the designs, nor does anything else that shares an association with the color purple. Except for Barney the Dinosaur, maybe. Always the contrarian, that blasted creature.


Help Us Pick the New Welsh-Ryan Arena Court Design [The Official Site of Northwestern University Athletics (via The Dagger)]