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Wake N’ Blog: ‘Corpse’ In South Africa ‘Wakes Up’ In Morgue, Screams To Be Let Out

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• A 50-year-old man who was believed to be dead awoke in a extremely chilly environment and screamed for someone to let him out, but his screams were misinterpreted as coming from a ghost, scaring off morgue workers. “His family thought he had died,” health spokesman Sizwe Kupelo told the Sapa news agency. “The family called a private undertaker who took what they thought was a dead body to the morgue, but the man woke up inside the morgue on Sunday at 5:00 pm and screamed, demanding to be taken out of the cold place.” Yeah, probably a good idea to actually confirm death before, you know, treating a person like he or she is dead. [Yahoo!]

• This will easily be the best NASCAR invocation you will ever hear. [Off the Bench]

• No! Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari have broken up! [Busted Coverage]

• Mario Balotelli was benched during a match after a showboating effort went wrong. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Check out this mini-Mike Tyson fan’s face “tattoo.” [Los That Sports Blog]

• In other news, the NFL lockout appears to be mercifully reaching its end. Let’s…celebrate? [Shutdown Corner]

• Kobe Bryant and Derrick Rose teamed up for a sweet alley-oop during an exhibition game in Manila. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries held dual bachelorette/bachelor parties in Vegas. [Jocks and Stiletto Jill]

• Dwight Howard paid a visit to Comic-Con. [The Sporting Rave]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Hip New Alternative Band Has One-Word, One-Syllable Name