Sportress of Blogitude

Jose Canseco Needs The Soothing Sounds Of Hall & Oates To Mend His Broken Heart

Following Jose Canseco on Twitter is like reading an eyewitness account of a horrific train wreck described in individual dispatches of 140 characters…with grammatical and typographical errors. But I suppose that’s half the twisted fun of it all. The guy holds nothing back.

And his latest sequence of meandering thoughts was a real doozy. Beginning with the above tweet regarding Leila, who is presumably the most recent succubus to suck the soul out of poor Jose. The reference to her being a “man eater,” could very well indicate she would be a fitting stand-in for the subject of the 1982 number one hit of the same name by the greatest duo in the history of music, Hall & Oates.

But more on that later. What followed the above tweet were the following sequence of deep thoughts:

  • Just ask her previous boyfriends
  • I am probably giving her all the ATT and she will get a reality show next
  • How can u put a restraining order on someone u havnt seen in 4 months and lives in another state

And finally:

A broken heart is knd of like a broken bat you can use it again but it will never be the same

Now if that isn’t a perfect line for a song, I don’t know what is. If Hall & Oates ever want to make a big comeback by recording a baseball-themed, Philadelphia Soul-infused pop record, they should enlist Jose Canseco’s services as a lyrics writer.

But for now, here’s “Maneater.” Whoa-oh here she comes. Watch out, boy, she’ll chew you up.

Sure, I could have opted to not embed the classic Hall & Oates video featuring all that cheesy ’80s goodness, but when presented with the chance to make a reference to the duo, what was I supposed to do? Pass it up? Yeah, right. I can’t go for that. No can do. And now that I have alienated a majority of my readers with references to songs that were popular before they were born, I’ll stop now.

[H/T Hardball Talk]
[Tweets via @JoseCanseco]