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Wake N’ Blog: Man Headed To Jail Swallows Baggie Containing Two Cigarettes, Vomits Them Up

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• It hardly seems worth it, does it? Johnathan Carter, 25, arrested on five counts of assault, swallowed the above-mentioned contraband in anticipation of heading to the clink. Once locked up, Carter puked up his secret stash of smokes and now will have a promoting contraband count added to his already considerable litany of charges. [azcentral]

• This just in: bee-bearding is awesome. [With Leather]

• Five reasons why Jim Thome’s 600 home run chase isn’t generating the buzz it warrants. [Big League Stew]

• Evan Longoria is Twitter flirting with U.S. Women’s Soccer hottie Alex Morgan. [Off the Bench]

• It is going to be freaking chaotic when the NFL lockout ends. [Shutdown Corner]

• Why NBA players’ possible pilgrimage overseas to play basketball might be a bad idea. [PineRiders]

• Heartwarming story about how a brain cancer survivor has asked the Stanley Cup out on a date to raise money for research. [Puck Daddy]

• Sepak Takraw, also known as kick volleyball, is one messed up sport. [The Nosebleeds]

• Twins broadcasters fried an egg on their desk during Monday’s Minnesota-Cleveland game. [Outside the Boxscore]

• The most inappropriate Sports Illustrated for Kids covers of all-time. [Sports Pickle]

• Play fantasy baseball, win money. [More Hardball]

The Onion Headline of the Day: (Video) Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?