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Blatant Homerism

(Video) Indians Closer Chris Perez Blows Save, Spazzes Out On Bubble Gum Buckets In Dugout

Cleveland Indians closer Chris Perez is an emotional, slightly depraved man. He also might be a rageaholic. How do I know this? Well, for one thing, he just can’t live without rageahol. Secondly, his nickname is “Pure Rage” and stars in his own web-based miniseries, “:60 With Pure Rage”, so that covers his issues with rageahol. The depraved part? The guy uses the song “Firestarter” by The Prodigy as his intro music, for crying out loud. If there is something more depraved than being a fan of The Prodigy, I haven’t seen it.

Now comes video evidence of Perez in a full, blown-out display of rageaholism, and it was directed squarely at a couple of buckets of bubble gum in the Indians’ dugout, which Perez promptly took out his aggression on upon making his way down the steps. Hubba Bubba, talk about unadulterated, bubble gum hating rage, although my guess is four out of five dentists would approve of Perez’s meltdown.

It all went down at Target Field last night. Perez came to the mound in the 9th inning with the Tribe leading the Twinkies by a score of 1-0. After recording one out, Perez walked Joe Mauer, then gave up a double to Michael Cuddyer. The Indians then made the wise choice of intentionally walking Jim Thome in order to face third baseman Danny Valencia (interesting side note: Valencia and Perez were roommates in college at the University of Miami). Valencia responded to the slight with a broken bat bloop single to left, scoring Mauer and Cuddyer. Ballgame. Twins win, 2-1.

Obviously, someone who goes by the moniker “Pure Rage” isn’t going to be especially pleased when blowing his 2nd save of the season, in particular to a division rival. What say you, Chris Perez?


“I thought I made some good pitches to Mauer,” Perez said, who showed his frustration in the dugout after the game. “One of four that (plate umpire Alan Porter) called balls were strikes to 95 percent of the league. But that’s baseball.”

Aha, a textbook case of psychological projection. Let’s just hope Perez gets a handle on things before his “Pure Rage” condition worsens. First, you’re spazzing out on a couple of buckets of bubble gum, the next thing you know, you’re obsessively burning stuff. Because he’s a firestarter, terrific firestarter.

Minnesota Twins rally in 9th against Chris Perez, top Cleveland Indians, 2-1, to spoil Justin Masterson’s gem []