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Wake N’ Blog: ‘Owner Of Killer Bear Chokes To Death On Sex Toy’ Might Be The Best Headline Ever

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• Wow. Just wow. Now that’s a headline. From the report: “An exotic-animal owner who made headlines last summer when one of his bears mauled a woman to death has died after apparently choking on a sex toy, authorities said…Sam Mazzola, 49, was found dead in his Columbia Station home on Sunday, face down on a water bed. He was bound to the bed with handcuffs, chains and padlocks, Lorain County Chief Deputy Coroner Dr. Frank Miller told the Cleveland Plain Dealer…Mazzola had a sex toy in his throat, which apparently obstructed his breathing, Miller said. He was also wearing a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head, the coroner told The Morning Journal.” Once again, wow. [msnbc]

• Sweet mercy, get a look at the dress Serena wore to the ESPYs. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Video: Dustin Johnson’s hole in one in at the British Open. [Dogs That Chase Cars]

• Holy crap on a cracker! Take a look at this bunker on the 4th hole at Royal St. George’s. [Devil Ball Golf]

• Here is an absolutely bizarre acoustic performance about “Big Baby” Glen Davis. [The Basketball Jones]

• Bryce Harper got himself some new tattoos. [D.C. Sports Bog]

• PETA is not happy with KFC’s offer to Dwyane Wade to run a drive-thru. [Off the Bench]

• The fellas at YBB got “3 Good Minutes” with Michael Wilbon. [You Been Blinded]

• If you want a misspelled Troy Tulowitski jersey (with a “z”), you can find one at MLB.com. [Big League Stew]

• Cat fight! Kobe Bryant dissed Derrick Rose’s shoes! [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• Tito Ortiz is planning on ruining one more UFC event, apparently. [Deuce of Davenport]

• Hoo boy: Christmas Ape takes the James Harrison story and runs with it. I mean, he really goes all out. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• More on Harrison: here’s his journal. [TAUNTR]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Disney Family Vacation Ruined By Walt Disney Company