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Wake N’ Blog: Narcs! Teens Rat Out Pot-Smoking Dad

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• I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU, DAD!! A 15-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter called the cops on their 44-year-old father in Cottonwood (Mouth) Heights, Utah because they believed he was smoking too much pot. Check out how the cops fooled this burnout into coming outside: “Police say the daughter called police to turn him in, then talked with officers outside the home. As they were talking, the dad sent her a text message asking her to come back inside. The officers had her send a reply to ask him to come outside. When he did, he was arrested.” DERP! [azcentral]

• This exists: The World Toe Wrestling Championships. [Busted Coverage]

• Drew Rosenhaus called Terrell Owens a “legendary healer.” I wonder what would motivate him to say that. [No Guts, No Glory]

• You have to check out what Ozzie Guillen says he would say to Steve Bartman if he had the chance. [Midwest Sports Fans]

• Jay Mariotti to stand trial for stalking and assault charges. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. [Rumors & Rants]

• A Chicago Cubs fan throwing back a home run almost hit Miguel Tejada with the ball. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Headline: “Mexican Soccer Fans Are Boorish Animals: A First-Hand Account” [With Leather]

• Ricky Rubio-Mania has not inspired rabid season ticket and jersey sales for the T-Wolves. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• A story about the time a cherry bomb was thrown onto the field at Milwaukee’s County Stadium. [Big League Stew]

• Here’s a photo of Dwight Howard planking. [Terez Owens]

• The five best sports quotes of all-time. [Unathletic]

• A sampling of discarded sports apparel treasures. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Wal-Mart Cuts Over 13,000 Of What It Calls Jobs