Sportress of Blogitude

Philly Writer’s Breaking News Bombshell: Boston Sports Fans Are An Insufferable Lot

Wait. What? Why wasn’t I informed of this at an earlier date? Boston sports fans are annoying? That’s kooky talk!

But according to The Philadelphia Inquirer columnist John Gonzalez, Boston sports fans are the worst of the worst, the most insufferable of the insufferable, additional derogatory descriptive word of the additional derogatory descriptive word. With the Red Sox and their accompanying fans set to invade Philadelphia this week for a three game set against the Phillies, Gonzalez utilized his column on Monday (reprinted in the Boston Herald) to warn Philadelphians about the oncoming onslaught of obnoxious ogres we have come to know as Red Sox Nation.

So give heed to Mr. Gonzalez, everyone: what he has to write needs to be, um, heeded. I mean, he really unloads on them.

They’ve gotten out of control, these Boston fans. They’ve mutated. There was a time when they took a perverse pride in their suffering, when they romanticized their lack of sports luck. Then the Pats won and the Sox won and the Celtics won and, more recently, the Bruins won. Whatever humility Bostonians had was long ago traded for some of those giant “We’re No. 1” foam fingers and a slew of omnipresent smug smiles.

The people in Boston have become obnoxious, arrogant, condescending. And those are just my friends up there. The rest are worse, an openly supercilious lot who never hesitate to tell you exactly how good they have it. Pride, as Marsellus Wallace said, will mess with you.

But wait. There’s more.

There’s a whole generation of mini-monsters just like that running around up there, figuring it’s their birthright to stand outside some fancy hotel every year and get showered with more confetti. You can almost hear the little prepubescent elitists squawking.

Aftah wahtin three lawng yee-ahs, the drought is ovah. We have anothah championship. Hawkey is bahhhck in Bawston.

The older fans are just as bad. After the Bruins won the Stanley Cup, I asked my buddy Flan, who lives up there, whether people were rioting in Central Square — a particularly lawless area of Cambridge where Flan and I once watched two hobos fight in the middle of Massachusetts Avenue. (True story.)

“Nope,” Flan said. “We act like we’ve been there before.”

Wow. Consider my mind sufficiently blowed. Who woulda thunk it, right? But I suppose we have little choice but to take this guy’s word for it. Because if there’s one person who understands the aggravating nature of a fan base, it is most assuredly someone who covers sports in Philadelphia.

Behind Enemy Lines: Boston fans have become obnoxious [Boston Herald]