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Mattek-Sands Dresses Like An Idiot, Wears Faux Eye Black For Match, Promptly Loses

What the fungus? That is Grade-A Fashion Fail right there, kiddos. And I didn’t need the famed Mr. Blackwell to inform me of that certifiable fact, which is a good thing – because, well, he’s dead.

The offender in question is American Bethanie Mattek-Sands, who promised her Twitter followers the following about her outfit: “Wimby has never seen something like this!” And nor should it ever have been subjected to it, either.

Mattek-Sands, a flamboyant gal who counts Lady Gaga among her fashion heroes (shocking, I know), sported the above atrocity – a white-fringed Alex Noble number featuring “2 tennis balls cut in half stitched down each silver-studded sleeve” – prior to her match on Court 14 for her match against Misaki Doi of Japan. Unfortunately, dressing garishly did not serve Mattek-Sands as well as it frequently does Venus Williams, as she abruptly lost her match to her less stylistic but more prepared opponent, 6-4, 5-7, 7-5.

But for Mattek-Sands, it is clearly more about style than substance (via AP).

Before the match, Mattek-Sands left the jacket draped over her chair to begin warming up. Underneath, she wore a white, skin-tight dress with one long sleeve and one short sleeve — revealing a tattooed arm — and her trademark knee-high socks.

Under her eyes, she wore black strips with a silver “B” painted on top. She claims the eye black, for which she recently signed an endorsement deal, has a practical purpose and “actually does reduce the glare.”

Fascinating. Further, while modeling the outfit to a throng of reporters prior to her match, she informed onlookers that she’s “not hitting any balls in it. Don’t worry … It’s too heavy to wear.” Good to know. Good to know. Although her quote claiming she’s not going to hit any balls in it did kind of remind me of Louie from The State, so I’ll give her a +1 for that. I guess.

Mattek-Sands tests Wimbledon’s fashion police [AP]