Sportress of Blogitude

Jonathan Toews Is ‘The Mentalist’? Must Be, He Predicted The Vancouver Riots

Breaking: Chicago Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews is, like, a psychic medium or something. Why? Because he says he knew all along that Vancouverites would riot their ever-loving asses off after their beloved Canucks found a way to lose Game 7 at home against the Bruins. Toews is all too aware of the psychotic behavior Vancouver Canucks fans are capable of, not only because of his psychic abilities, but also due to the heated postseason rivalry his Blackhawks squad and the Canucks have enjoyed over the past several seasons.

Via Chicago Breaking Sports:

“I kind of expected that,” said Toews, who was scheduled to leave Chicago on Tuesday to head to Las Vegas for the NHL Awards. “Those fans are crazy. When we beat them the last couple of years they were throwing stuff on the ice. They’re crazy fans and obviously passionate about their team. I kind of expected a reaction one way or another.”

While it’s all well and good that he kind of expected a reaction one way or another, why did Toews refuse to alert the authorities? Imagine the senseless violence and mayhem that could have been averted only if Toews had acted upon his instincts and adequately warned the city of Vancouver.

Wait. I know why: Jonathan Toews must be one of those self-loathing Canadians. Also, much like Simon Baker as Patrick Jane, he is also not a psychic.


Note: backstory behind the above Mentalist reference here.

Hawks’ Toews on Vancouver riots: ‘I kind of expected that’ [Chicago Breaking Sports]