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Nightmare Fuel Video: Portly Aussie Rules Football Fan Strips Down To Undies

Yamma hamma. There are things that can’t be unseen and there are sights so disturbing they nearly make you want to gouge your own eyeballs out with a rusty spoon to save them any possibility of seeing anything ever again so disturbing. This, my friends falls in both categories and it will require incredible willpower to not go reaching for some ocular extracting tool.

Above is an image of a fervent supporter of the Geelong Cats Australian Rules Football Club after he stripped down to his skivvies after witnessing an up and down, pants-droppingly exciting match last Saturday between his squad and the rival Hawks.

Since I do not wish to spend any more than the minimally required time to pass along this haunting story to you readers, I’ll allow the Herald Sun (via BuzzFeed) to recap the disturbing events of that day:

After removing his Cats shirt and waving it around his head, the unknown fan spent the first rendition of the Geelong theme song removing his shoes, socks and eventually pants before breaking into his patented celebration dance, clad only in his Geelong-blue jocks, without a care in the world.

Although he was surrounded by families with young children, not a soul seemed offended by the impassioned display, including passing Hawthorn supporters who managed to crack a smile after another heartbreaking loss.

A team of six mystified security guards arrived at the scene as the dance continued well into the third playing of the theme song, though none seemed prepared to venture too close to the fan as he was left to continue his routine and down his final beer.

You just have to love the fact that even the security guards were unwilling to curtail this man’s impassioned, alcohol-fueled, inhibition-free celebration. Those crazy Aussies.

Video follows, but be forewarned: the video contains a brief moment of partially-exposed male ass crack. Don’t say I didn’t give you advanced notice.

Crikey! I’m going to need about eight Foster’s just to make it through the rest of the day. Which is up from my usual four, so you know I have been traumatized.

Cats fan strips down in MCG stands to celebrate win over Hawks [Herald Sun (via BuzzFeed)]