Sportress of Blogitude

Promotion: Miami Wins, Heat Fans Get 50% Discount On Their Next Case Of The Squirts

Better ingredients. Better diarrhea. Papa John’s.

Man, just when you think a fan base cannot get any luckier, something like this comes along – and totally ruins everything! That’s right, with every Miami Heat playoff victory, their fans receive 50% off their next online order from Papa John’s. It’s craptacular! White hot is an apt phrase to use, to boot. Grab on to that porcelain, kiddos, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

Oh, I kid, I kid. Papa John’s is just as good as any other major pizza chain. But I will say this about that butter sauce substance that they provide with every pie: instant poop lube. Sorry, but it’s true.

[via, @MiamiHeat]