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Wake N’ Blog: Police Say Man Spit Own Feces At Officers – Wait, What?

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• Sixty-two-year-old retired postal worker Paul Kausalik faces up to two years in jail after he allegedly spit fecal matter at a police officer while being held on suspicion of drunken driving in Durango, Colorado. Kausalik asked Officer Chad Langley if he could use the restroom. Langley found him asleep in the restroom twice and after the second time waking him up, Kausalik spit his own poop on the cop. What kind of sick person would willingly place their own feces in their mouth and then expel said fecal matter on an unsuspecting officer? A retired postal worker, you say? Come on, that’s not fair. Why would you say that? [azcentral]

• If you haven’t seen it, you have to check out Tim Thomas absolutely robbing Steve Downie during last night’s Bruins-Lightning game. [Puck Daddy]

• Even Derrick Rose cannot believe that Carlos Boozer raps. [The Basketball Jones]

• Here’s a video of Serena Williams singing karaoke. [Larry Brown Sports]

• The Cloppers’ Chris Kaman was so ready for the end of the world. [Off the Bench]

• Since it was the Preakness, the Running of the Urinals was held. [Deuce of Davenport]

• Anybody else pumped for the Ron Artest Ultimate Comedy Tour? Is this thing on? [The Last Angry Fan]

• With fans like these: German soccer player slapped by fan during championship parade. [Bob’s Blitz]

• Things keep getting better for Tiger Woods. [Wei Under Par]

• Have $3.7 million laying around? If you do, you could buy Ray Allen’s palatial Seattle estate. [Busted Coverage]

• Rich Cho is out as Trail Blazers GM. Who? [Ball Don’t Lie]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Neurologists Implore Professional Athletes To Wait Until They Are Dead To Send In Brains For Research