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Sportress of Blogitude

Shapeshifting, Parasitic Alien Life Form Mimics Baseball, Burrows Inside Mike Napoli

GAH! What the hell? Now that is one gruesome, disturbing image. Just because the Rapture didn’t make its scheduled appearance over the weekend does not mean everything is hunky dory here on Planet Earth. That’s right: instead of a Biblical Apocalypse, we are smack dab in the middle of an alien invasion.

And I’m afraid to inform you, my friends, that this isn’t a run of the mill alien invasions of past eras – nope, these visitors aren’t ancient alien astronauts whose sole interest in mankind is to assist in our evolution. Nope. They are here to feast upon us and frighteningly, we have no idea when and where they’ll strike next, given their shapeshifting abilities, as evidenced by the above photo.

The question is: why didn’t anyone try to prevent this from happening to the Texas Rangers’ Mike Napoli? Why did everyone stand idly by while some bloodthirsty alien burrowed into his body cavity, like that creatures from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan? Wait, Ceti Eels gain access to our innards through the ear canal and are used for mind control. Okay, it’s kind of like that creature from Alien. Nope. Not that, either. Chestbursters explode out of a person’s body cavity, they don’t burrow into it. Huh.

Fine. How about it’s kind of like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Only with baseballs. Yeah, that will work. I guess.

[image via]